Lord, send the rain.

I don't even know how to describe the season I've been in.  It's been hard dealing with school, work, multiple roommate switches, and just when I think I've got one thing figured out and a load off my shoulders, a whole new batch of problems comes crashing on me.  I've been in a drought in my spiritual life, its pretty sad, and I'm not at all proud of where I am. There's a yearning in my heart for more of what I had before, but my flesh takes over and I find myself fulfilling worldly desires with the movies I watch, the books I read, and the music I listen to.  I turned on some worship music and decided to clean out and organize the hallway closet.  It's been sooooo hot and dry here, when I heard thunder I was excited because we desperately need the rain.  It thundered yesterday but never rained, so I didn't really think much about it.  While cleaning, I found a huge box that had a bunch of text books that I had saved along with some of my old journals that I had filled during high school and college.  This is where I poured my heart out to the Lord, a welcomed habit that I had somehow, unfortunately broken.  I got up to throw something away in the kitchen, reading a journal entry as a walked.  When I turned around to walk back, I looked out and the rain was POURING down! Just as the rain was falling, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I ran out onto the balcony and stood hanging over the railing so I could feel the rain.  I realize I probably looked ridiculous to anyone who may have passed by, but the worship in the background and having read the old journal entries made for a beautiful moment.  And I just had to feel the rain.  I need a refreshing from the Lord and I know that I need to give him opportunity to do it.  I'm letting myself get bogged down by the weight of the world and it's troubles.  I just need to sit and be with the Father, letting His refreshing Spirit wash over me.  

New Things.

The last two months have been quite a rough season for me with work, grad school, relationships, and pretty much anything else. Nothing was going well and I was just a very unhappy person (I'll be writing about this experience and my turn around and how awesome Jesus is in a future blog post.)
I had to start doing things for myself that would make me happy.  So I bought myself flowers! :)  I also decided that since my work load wouldn't change going into summer, that I wanted to plant myself a garden and grow my own wildflowers to pick and keep in vases.
Theres a problem with that...
I live in an apartment.
But the internet is an amazing thing and there are so many creative people out there.
I found this idea...

I'm so excited!!! I found a little greenhouse out in the country (you will definitely be hearing about that in my turn around blog!)  I bought some flowers, and seeds of various kinds of flowers, I don't know what I'm doing really... Lol, but hopefully it will turn out ok.
My friend's fiance is a Carpenter and he was able to help me out with the pallet! So, it's sitting on my balcony waiting to be filled with beautiful things!
Can't wait to get started!

I bought a mac.

For those of you who know me at all, the title of this post might have caused you to pass out, or be in a state of shock.  I still hyperventilate periodically and find myself calming an anxious heart with deep breaths.
I hate macs.  I hate that at one false move of the mouse, all the screens fly away, and other screens pop up, oh my word.  My anxiety level is peeking just thinking about it! No hot corners for me! And all I really want in life is a right click button. That's all.  Just a trusty little button that my right ring finger can hit and I'm guaranteed a little menu full of options and commands.  I would rather not have to figure out morse code on the key pad to get things to happen.
So, why did I end up purchasing a Mac?
I honestly cannot give you an answer for that.  I'm still curious myself.  
I spent two hours talking to the guy at best buy last night.  Poor guy.  I would have punched me.  But he didn't.  He just stood there with a smile on his face telling me the same things over and over as I asked the same questions over and over and debated back and forth on what to do. (I'm definitely calling in and giving him a good review.)  Why do I have to be such a bad decision maker?
I think I would be ok if I could just go in and buy a computer.  Like a book or CD or piece of clothing.  No, I have to buy protection plans and anti virus software and programs so that the thousand dollars I just spent isn't useless.
 I've never been and fan of technology and I'm still not really.  I'm still not a mac fan either.  I am thankful that I've had this thing for a little over 12 hours, and I have not chucked it across the room. yet.
Last night on my way home from the computer store, I took a detour to Evangel.  I was freaking out, my heart was pounding and I needed moral support. I went directly to my friend Courtney's door, held up the box with the little apple on it and oh man! Do I wish I had a camera ready to capture her facial expression!!! It may have looked something like this... for at least 10 minutes....

  I sat on Courtney's bed just holding the computer in my lap.  After an hour, I mustered up enough courage to open it. Another hour went by, and I finally found it in me to press the little power button.  I have a mac book.  Woah.
A small miracle did occur last night.  Forty five minutes into our conversation, the guy at Best Buy surprised me, and himself, when he remembered that there was a mac book that was discounted 100 dollars.! the people bought it just the day before, but decided they wanted a bigger one, so I got the discount! Yay Jesus! :)  (oh my, He's been doing MARVELOUS things in my life, I will be posting on shortly! He is so good!)  Anyways, I took that as a sign that I should get the MAC and here we are. Hopefully this is a good experience for both of us... The Mac and I.

New Fun Things!:)

Work and School has completely taken over my life! And not much occurs besides that, so I don't have much to share usually, or at least, that I feel people would be interested in.  However, I really am loving the blogging world and I still want to be a part of it. So, I'm going to try to keep up with it again.
Recently, I've been helping my friend out with her wedding.  Its really an exciting time!:)  I am more than happy for her.  It is kind of a fast wedding and she's on a low budget, so it's become a D.I.Y. wedding and I'm pretty sure it's going to be one of the most beautiful weddings I've been to.  We are making all of her center pieces, the bouquets, hair accesories, and decorations for the ceremony. 
I've always thought about opening an etsy store, but never had the motivation, and I always second guess my ideas when I'm creating things, which ends up taking A LOT of time(and I really don't have time. Ha!)
HOWEVER.... I have recently aquired motivation after creating this.....

And These....

We are going to start and Etsy shop!:)  I'm so excited!!!   I really don't understand it, but things like this go for way over $50 on etsy.  We haven't decided on a name yet and we're pretty busy putting her wedding together, right now, but in the near future, to my very few viewers, be on the lookout for a new shop!:) 

God is really really good.

For as terrible as a weekend I've had, I'm feeling so blessed and encouraged this morning.  :)
My sister basically disowned me and is in a severely emotionally abusive relationship with her boyfriend.  Apparently, they are engaged, which I found out from a friend because Anna blocked me from her facebook page.  I'm 13 hours away from home and feel hopeless in the situation.   When I went to call my mom to get clarification about this new piece of information, I found out that my phone has been shut off because the guy my sister is apparently engaged to racked our phone bill up to $1000!(Yes, he's on our plan. Why? because my sister threatened to kill herself if she didn't have a way to talk to him.) And I'm waiting to hear back from interviews about potential jobs.  Now, they have no way to get a hold of me and I have no way to get a hold of anyone at home because we don't have a land line anymore and my sister blocked me from her facebook and doesn't check her e-mail.  It's just a mess. On top of all of this, I've been extremely emotional lately, so my poor roommates have to deal with me crying pretty much all the time, lol. AND I developed a cold pretty much over night, so I'm all stuffed up and have a sore throat.
Even though this is a mess of a situation and I've felt completely hopeless, I will not let the enemy defeat me. I know that the Lord has this situation in His hands and He knows what He is doing.  I'm so thankful for the people in my life who are helping me to be strong in this situation. I had a wonderful time with the Lord this morning reading about His promises to keep me and strengthen me in His love.  And all of the blogs that I'm subscribed to posted encouraging words and scriptures about the same thing. :) God really knows what He's doing.  I'm so thankful to have Him to lean on through the trials.  I pray that Anna will eventually realize the same thing and that he eyes will be open to what real love is. 
Now I have to write a paper for my class tonight... It's extremely hard to be motivated when you only have the class one night a week.  I still need to get in the swing of things with this whole grad school situation. It's a good thing and I'm so happy to be where I am. 

someday.

I recently stumbled upon this beautiful post. (twirl)
First of all, I love when I find Christian bloggers, especially those that post beautiful tutorials as well as beautiful  things the Lord is doing in their lives.
You must go read this post, it is absolutely beautiful(I know I've used that word a lot this post. Lol.)  Maybe I just really needed to hear it tonight, but it's really good.
When I was finished reading and had wiped the few tears away that had escaped, I suddenly felt inspired to pray for my future children.  I've always focused on praying for my future husband and even have a journal dedicated to him. But I hadn't ever thought to pray for my children (how terrible).  I ran back to my room to get my "Someday book"  It's a book that I made to paste pictures of wedding ideas and ideas that I'd like for my  home someday. :)

So, I decided to make a page for my future children and the things that I want for them.  I wrote the verse that this woman uses, Zeph 3:17.  I'm going to print out the post and paste it in the book next to what I already have written. 
As I was looking through other things in my book, I had this revelation:  I spend all this time planning out my future, from big ideas to the tiniest details.  The Lord knows my heart and my desires and while I have all of these plans for what I want my house to be like or what flowers I want at my wedding, He knows what I need and has my whole little world in His hands. :)  I left the front page open when I started the book and I think I'm going to write a prayer dedicating the book, my hopes and dreams,and all of my somedays to the Lord. He's the one that's holding them all anyways :)

Sleeping in.

It's saturday and I slept in til NOON. ( Maybe it's because I didn't go to bed until 4 AM.)  I don't know about you, but I hate sleeping in..  I just don't like sleeping the day away.  And we had a long list of things to do.

We are still working on getting our apartment finished up, which means more trips to wal mart and the fabric store:)  I'm not complaining, I love that place!  Photos to come of our sweet buys and our finished products.